The 'Other' Option

Once the miracle finds us and activates the 'Original-Memory' (OM) our human representative will eventually become suspicious as it is aware that there is indeed this 'Other' option that it  --  your human egoic mechanism  --  cannot comprehend and therefore cannot usurp and therefore must fear.

We need to create a gap in an effort to break the knee-jerk reaction of the chain reaction of mis-creation in order to be able to hear and choose this always, already pre-existing correction...

*... And then something happens...

A look at what happened when the miracle found me as I now begin to understand it. It is the responsibility of the miracle to find us wherever we believe ourself to be, and once awakened to ITS presence IT will not ever go away. 

Look again, and when you are ready, see what you have not seen before!
Letting go of those 'thoughts-gone-awry' that have taken on a life of their own and now avoid the review that will most certainly undo their power of definition over you ("I was never that thought!!!") is never done alone, but done with your 'Inner-Other' who has been patiently waiting for you to see it all differently.
Let's be willing today to trust The Plan and allow Its Process. 

Just what we needed – a new category to talk about! I’m going to share some of my ‘rememberings’ with you which often occur through song verse and text quotes.
I warn you now, the chances of you hearing what I think I am saying will in no way affect the outcome which is this: you will begin to remember who and what you are in such a time-appropriate way that the light of your truth will shine upon the places we were hiding love (oops! That’s from Peter Gabriel…). There’ll be no stopping us on this road to freedom once our eyes have seen (I know, I know, sounds a bit like Van-the-Man).
So, as my friend Craig implores constantly: “Enjoy the ride!”

As I prepared to do year 17 several weeks ago I took a hit from the fact that I do not have permission to speak about the deep personal encounters that arrived in my life in 1984-85 through the life story of extended community. As I contemplated one specific event that shook apart the very foundation of a family I visited in the fall of '84, I knew that I could not simply use coded language to transmit the full significance of an ancient wound arriving at the surface to be reclaimed and then released.
Due to this perceived dilemma I took a hiatus from recall and really didn't know what to expect as a response from my Self as my commitment to recast the story of my life went into a spin mode without draining the wash water. One thing became clear though, the soiled water that had been soaking the fabric of my storyboard needed to be replaced with fresh water. Kind of like selecting the 'extra rinse' option on the front loading washing machine...
It was as if my emotional network over rode my conscious commitment to remember and release in order to move on, and I entered the premise that 'others' would use those troubled years as an indictment in some court of judgment. Knowing that there is no 'other' out-there to judge me, I spent time with my inner judge, giving a listen for a while.
It seems I had indeed left a piece of Self fragmented in exile without knowing that I would never be able to leave this dimension behind as long as there was one piece of Self I judged as not worthy of being me. If all doubt is self-doubt, then indeed it is true that all judgment is self-judgment and the true gift can only ever be that all love is self-love.
I had forgotten this.

So, shall we continue…?

Monday, March 9, 2009
Bristol, RI
5:17 AM

Been up for a bit – drinking my coffee now. Giggling a bit…
Started around 3:20-ish while I was becoming aware that it was going to rain and that I had put out Lynda’s trash last night and it’s uncovered so the bins will collect some water and the trash collectors may not want to pick up the rain heavy bins…
Few options in this moment – which brings up the real point; ‘concern’ about what may happen stems from worry that I should not have left uncovered trash bins out that could collect rain water, and in this moment I should/could fret, worry, get upset. Notice the ‘need’ or at least the propensity to feel worried that ‘it should not be the way that it is’ and ‘something needs to be done.’
My attention turns to the awareness of my skin blemishes, my ‘therapeutic-wounds’ as I have chosen to think of them.
Time to connect the dots… it’s all related, all symptoms of the same underlying error in cognition…

I often awake in the earliest hours and sometimes, like this morning, I allow the presence to stay, and get up; but I usually drift back to sleep and dreamtime. But the rain kept me awake, aware that, shy of driving over to Tiverton to look in the garage for trash can lids, there wasn’t much I could do. But now I can’t sleep and the thought / suggestion that I be upset by the ‘fact’ that I cannot drift off to dreamland seems like an alien thought to me now… just give-in (damn it!) and get up.
And I’m giggling at something. I think about a neighbor’s dog that visits on occasion and I think he’s a ‘wonderfully-goofy’ dog; you can tell just by the way he looks that he’s goofy. Makes me giggle a bit. Can’t sleep, can’t stop the rain, still got those skin blemishes that ‘if only I had health coverage I could get them looked at’ and suddenly I ‘see’ the inter-connected / inter-relatedness of it ALL.
Some part of me is always on the lookout, always aware that at any moment ‘something’ could, in fact probably will ‘happen’ that will require a change of plan, a need to fix or correct, in order to be okay. As if I should proclaim: “It’s a good thing you’re on top of this” for otherwise I’d be… what?
Ahh, yes, my old rhetorical buddy pipes up from within. “So, Willie, what’s afraid? Oh, yeah, and while you’re at it, once again – exactly what is it afraid of?????”

‘Can’t sleep – must be something wrong’ --- Really?
‘It’s raining out – you shouldn’t have put the trash out because the trash collectors won’t empty rained-in containers’ --- Well, we’ll see soon enough, and then we can deal with it in the moment.
‘Well, what about those skin ‘things’ that just won’t go away – huh?’

The last one gave it all away; the ‘Old Faithful’ of my current concerns, reliably there to be the cause of fear. Suddenly it’s as plain as the noonday hour on a cloudless day: ‘You better be concerned; you better be afraid!’

My dear, sweet human, I seem to almost always forget that you simply don’t know how to think about my truth without reverting to a fear-based scenario. After being ‘in the presence’ of something that simply cannot be understood, comprehended, ‘grokked’ - and then left to yourself – all you can do is be afraid until, until… what?

My time with Dr John Mack and Roberta Colasanti during the days of PEER were all about holding a space for me, in my humanness, as I grappled with what Dr John lovingly referred to as ‘ontological shock’ as if they both were my mid-wife as I birthed this new, emerging me. And even though Johnny Mack is now off-stage, his pediatric care of me seems to be continuing from that near-by dimension as well as through my continued contact with Bobbie. That, combined with 24+ years working with the metaphysics of A Course in Miracles, allowed me to chuckle, to giggle this early morning. I am currently, as I write this, fully encased in complete knowing that the ‘more-than-human’ me poses a very real threat to my human. It doesn’t mean to, and in truth ‘it’ – my ‘more-than-human-Self’ means no harm to anything, in fact it’s appearing only because it has been invited.

Ever since July 5, 1996 when I sent ‘that’ letter off to PEER I have been in ontological shock, and this morning, beginning around 3:33 AM it all fit into some form of higher sense.

Looks as if my favorite rhetorical will soon be bidding me a found adieu, its gift nearly unfathomable. Chuckle, giggle – call it what you will; in this moment it all makes sense, perfect sense.

Guess I better get ready to drive over to Lynda’s place and drain the rain from the trash cans… or not!

It's been said in many ways - "Know Thy Self" -- "To thine own Self be true" -- "Heal thy Self" and so today let's remember this: "Striving plunges you into confusion as to who you really are and why you try so hard, for finding yourself is all that matters in the actuality of making."

Your 'Original-Self' is your natural way of being, and allowing this original signature to surface is putting Self First so you can be Self-Full and then begin to leave well enough alone!